Chaplains ease hearts reflecting on regrets
All her life, a woman carried her heavy burden. When she was young, she’d had an abortion. She never told anyone. After moving to The Lutheran Home Belle Plaine Campus, she shared her long-held guilt with campus chaplain Pastor Ed Fredrich, who in turn shared Jesus’ saving forgiveness. Shortly before she passed away, Pastor Fredrich helped the resident share her
story with her grown daughter. She left in peace.
Though not all residents hold on to such a hurtful past, they often have regrets and guilt as they reflect
on many years of life, said Pastor Fredrich, who has served as chaplain at The Belle Plaine Campus for nine years.
“We always, in a sense, suffer from 20/20 hindsight. When it comes to the end of our life, it’s the same situation. That’s when the forgiveness of Jesus comes in,” he said.
Four chaplains minister to The Lutheran Home Association’s five campuses. Besides Bible study and worship, a chaplain’s vocation also includes visiting with individual residents about their faith and personal lives. In his daily work, Pastor Fredrich often sees older adults struggle with regrets over simple things, such as spending time with family. Those who don’t have many visitors wonder, “Maybe if we would’ve been closer, they’d be here.” Younger family members who don’t visit may suffer from the same guilt when that resident passes away, the guilt of feeling like they hadn’t spent enough time together.
Moving to a skilled nursing, assisted living, or independent living community can cause uncomfortable reflection.
“In a sense they’re starting over and that isn’t always easy either. In a new place, they may realize what they had before and feel they didn’t appreciate it when they had it,” Pastor Fredrich said.
Whether thinking back on a few or on many years of life, guilt is something people don’t like to deal with.
“Something I’ve observed about our society today is that we spend so much time avoiding guilt,
trying to ignore it. But that doesn’t ever take it away,” Pastor Fredrich said. “Come to the Lord and ask
forgiveness. To do that every day is important.”
In his conversations with residents, Pastor Fredrich likes to call attention to Jesus’ final words on the cross: “It is finished.” “He died for our sins. Not only the things we did, but the things we didn’t do,” Pastor Fredrich said.
Because Christians are forgiven, there is no need to carry around a burden of guilt. Pastor Fredrich encourages residents to end each day by leaving their sins with Jesus. And the next morning, to start new in the day that the Lord has made.
“It is a tremendous comfort to be able to do that every day,” he said.
Struggling with guilt? Pastor Fredrich encourages you to open your Bible to these passages: Psalm 32:1,2; Psalm 51:1,2; Psalm 51:10-12; Psalm 103:12; Romans 5:1 or Ephesians 1:3-10.